Juneteenth is now a federal, state, county, and city holiday.

The commemoration of June 19th annually is recognized as the day the slaves were completely freed. Amazingly, despite President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation which took effect on January 1, 1863, announcing that “all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State… shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free,” Texas did not free slaves from captivity until Union Forces entered the state.

On June 19, 1865, more than two years after the Executive Order by President Lincoln, slaves were freed.

How in the world? How could a state ignore such a law that corrected the horror of treating another human as property?

Political opponents of President Lincoln, who sought wealth by using African American individuals as beasts of burden, ignored the law and many moved to Texas.  The distance from the Union soldiers’ reach who were tasked to enforce laws and the Reconstruction Amendments that resulted from the Lincoln Era, such as the 13th, 14th, and 15th Constitutional Amendments outlawing slavery, recognizing men and women born in America as citizens, and giving free men the right to vote regardless of their race or previous involuntary servitude allowed the application of the laws of Liberty.

Geography wasn’t the singular reason that this was unfortunately a factor that permitted the delay in freeing enslaved individuals. The lack of communications beyond newspapers and pamphlets of the day that served as the method of informing the public beyond word of mouth.

And the fact that this critical information was available in written form for more than two years, which resulted in the liberation of about three million enslaved individuals exposes another contributing factor to the delay.

Slaves were denied access to educational freedom. Most African Americans were not able to read or write. Only about 10% of the entire African American population was literate prior to the Emancipation Proclamation, according to The Journal of the Civil War. According to the Smithsonian, states opposing President Lincoln even had laws in place against teaching slaves to read. Tennessee was not among those states.

The tragedy of illiteracy kept available information about the current events of the days and times from those in Texas enslaved for more than two years longer.

Literacy is part of freedom because of the empowerment given to an individual to take the God-given talents, skills, potential, and add the determination of hard work to consume information, make individual decisions, have the ability to earn and save wealth, and create a generational legacy for one’s own family.

As Juneteenth approaches, the history of Texas slave owners being able to keep individuals as property for over two years longer than the law permitted will be the reason for the commemoration. Don’t miss the fact that it was freedom delayed because literacy was denied.

Make this the Juneteenth that kicks off a commitment to read, write, and empower one’s own potential by pursuing educational, financial, and personal freedom through literacy.

I’m clueless!

Now before you howl ‘I told you so’ while high fiving your buddies, allow me to say that those two words – “I’m clueless”- is how l feel when someone exposes one of my embarrassing blind spots.  Strange way to start off a column, huh?

But the fact is that there’s something healthy about self-deprecating storytelling, especially if it can be a teachable moment for others. So let me take you to one of my blind spots.

You see, my bride is not only dealing with a clueless spouse, but she’s also dealing with a hearing loss. It’s hereditary (her hearing loss, not her clueless spouse). As frustrating as it is for her to have to constantly respond, “say that again” when she doesn’t hear something clearly, it’s as frustrating to me to have to repeat myself. Of course, my frustration pales by comparison to hers and scores of others who experience a loss in hearing.

Now I’m ashamed to admit that there have been times when I just waved her off with a ‘never mind’ when she’d ask me to repeat myself. Never did I realize how condescending, insensitive, and callous that was, that is until I got the following email a while ago:

“Mr. Terry, I started reading your articles and instantly got hooked on them. Thank you so much for your thought-provoking articles. I have learned a lot from them, and they have helped me a lot to understand other people and cultures.

As an immigrant to this country with English not my first language, sometimes I come across people – even friends – who sometimes say things I don’t understand (usually unrelated to work, maybe a joke or a comment about a football game). When I ask them to explain it to me, usually they say, “NEVER MIND” which leaves me thinking, “why would you say something and then not want to explain it?”

I feel that people think that I should have all the knowledge about what they are discussing. For example, take a television show which aired 20 years ago when I was not here and knew nothing about when they used it as a reference. When I asked for an explanation, I got the same answer “never mind,” which made me feel stupid.

I hope I have explained to you my problem and request you to write an article to address this issue as this is not only me since I have been told by many immigrants that they feel the same way. Please do not publish my name.”

Suddenly the juxtaposition of the experience by this emailer and my wife’s forced me to reflect on something related I’d read previously, “Dismissive Gestures,” by Rich Brenner of Canyon Creek Consulting. He wrote, “humans are nothing if not inventive. In modern organizations where verbal insults are deprecated, we’ve developed hundreds of ways to insult each other silently. When we insult each other, we damage relationships and make achieving our shared goals more difficult.”

Like language, humor and most customs, dismissive gestures vary from culture to culture. While the meanings of various gestures are intuitively clear in your own culture, they can be mysteriously unfathomable in the cultures of others. And they slowly evolve with time. By examining these tactics, says Brenner, we can take some of the sting out of them and reduce the urge to use them ourselves. He lists the following dismissive gestures and their possible interpretations:

Heavy-lidded glances to a third party – When one listener looks at another with a heavy-lidded glance, and possibly a tilt of the head, the message is, “Gimme a break,” or “She’s gotta be kidding.”

Heavy sighing – A heavy sigh, sometimes combined with an exaggerated lift of the shoulders, can mean, “I’ve had enough of this trash.”

Eye rolling – Typically, eye rolling is executed out of the awareness of the target, and that’s bad enough. But sometimes we do it face-to-face, and then it’s especially stinging.

Looking at your watch – Checking the time can be interpreted as “I wish this boring fool would give it a rest.”

Shrugging – A shrug communicates, “I don’t care.” For extra punch, combine with a facial expression of boredom or disdain.

Disgusted laughing – There are laughs-with, and laughs-at. The disgusted laugh is a laugh-at, and there’s nothing funny about it.

Checking a hand-held device instead of paying attention – This can communicate, “I have something more worthwhile to do than to listen to this drivel.”

On reflection, I believe that most of us don’t wake up in the morning wondering who we should insult today. There’s something inherent in us that makes us want to rethink how we may, albeit unintentionally, damage someone emotionally with a dismissive “never mind,” its variations, or others on or not on the above list.

In the end, sharing this blind spot is an uncomfortable reminder that I can’t escape my own demons, the biggest of which is why it took hearing from someone I didn’t know, Rick Brenner, to realize how hurtful I’ve been to someone I do know, my wife.

Yes, I have work to do …. once I crawl out from beneath the nearest rock! © Terry Howard is an award-winning trainer, writer, and storyteller. He is also a contributing writer with the Chattanooga News Chronicle, The American Diversity Report, The Douglas County Sentinel, Blackmarket.com, co-founder of the “26 Tiny Paint Brushes” writers’ guild, recipient of the 2019 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Leadership Award, and third place winner of the 2022 Georgia Press Award.