“Rubbernecking” is a term primarily used to refer to bystanders staring at accidents. More generally, it can refer to anyone staring at something of everyday interest from a safe distance. The term derives from the neck’s bending while trying to get a better view.
With a flip of a remote control or finger, we have the ability to change the channel or turn the page away from events in the news that sickens and shocks us. And that’s what we do. But that’s easier said than done if you’ve not been personally impacted by the event or know someone who has. Which brings us to the current conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians, and relatedly to a recent email I got from “Ed,” a Jewish friend who lives with his wife in Florida.
You see, Ed’s daughter and her family live in Israel. Thankfully, they escaped with their lives when the recent horrific attack on Israel occurred. But unlike the convenience afforded to most of us, Ed was unable to “rubber neck” his away from the horror because the matter was personal for him. Very personal.
Now given the intrinsic value of his experience, Ed thought it more meaningful to hear the perspective from someone who lives in Israel and, thus, gave me the OK to share a recent message he received from his daughter:
“You have asked me about my safety. Israel is the size of New Jersey, and everyone is within range of rockets. There is, in fact, nowhere that is safe. I would best describe the current situation in my specific area as being less targeted than others, but everyone has friends or family all over the country, making every security situation personal.
There is also no one in the country who is unaffected by the war. No one is “okay.” The emotions run from shock to palpable anger at the perpetrators. Additionally, many are suffering from PTSD from the Yom Kippur War in 1973.
In practical terms the general call-up means that there are fewer workers available than normal to keep everything going. Even mundane day-to-day concerns, like needing a plumber, become difficult to address. Not sure everyone knows, but many in Israel’s minority ethnic groups also serve in the IDF, not just Jews.
Everyone’s routine has been upended and I don’t know anyone who sleeps well. The wonderful public transportation system was severely affected. Most routine appointments of all types were cancelled, schools, nursery schools and day cares were all closed. Supermarkets were not well stocked for a while, especially those outside of the center of the country. There is food readily available, but it might not be what you want, or you find that specialty items are unavailable, an important detail for those with allergies or sensitivities. While a small bump in the road in the grand scheme of things, it adds to the general anxiety.
Today is market day here and it was very apparent that fresh vegetables are getting hard to come by. Some fields are currently not accessible to the farm workers due to the situation. My local post office is not delivering mail nor receiving customers for the time being. Country-wide, all local elections scheduled for the end of this month have been postponed.
I finally got some sleep over these last two days and feel better. Two soldiers from our town fell during the first hours of the war, both sons of staff members at the school where I volunteer teaching English. After the funerals we attend the silva
(seven days of mourning) as many times as possible, at their homes. Both families live in my immediate neighborhood. The local burial society provides a mourner’s tent, tables and chairs to accommodate the multitude of visitors.
There is an app which tells us when and where rockets are/will be hitting and how much time one must get to a shelter. Lots of information is available, including WhatsApp groups, to tell us what is happening in real time. Surreal doesn’t begin to describe it.
There was a false alarm last week in the evening, which plunged the entire north of the country into their shelters for a couple of hours. In addition to the huge dose of anxiety, it provided us with a practice drill of sorts, for those who needed a refresher course.
Whole communities around Gaza in the south and the Lebanese border in the north have been evacuated to hotels and resorts in other areas of the country. They generally left home with nothing, so other communities are providing for them as best they can.
It is very sobering to personally provide meals and essentials to soldiers who will be responsible for one’s personal safety. A homemade meal is infinitely better than battle rations and they appreciate the effort that went into providing that meal. On a practical level, you don’t want soldiers to be distracted in any way or to have to make do while in a tense situation.
Similar to Ed’s experience, I’ll end with this what could’ve been my “near miss.” My sister, a minister, is a member of a contingent that had purchased tickets and made reservations for a weeklong mission trip to Israel. Worried silly, I called her hoping that her trip had been cancelled and was relieved to hear that it was.
So for the sake of balance, and because I don’t know anyone there, hopefully someone will connect me with a person who currently lives in that part of the world who could tell me about the new realities for the people in Gaza – millions of them children – whose lives, too, were similarly upended.
In the end, and for a broader context, Ed pointed me to CNN’s Fareed Zakaria who offers an important historical backdrop that undergirds this conflict.
So, dial him up. Terry Howard is an award-winning trainer, writer, and storyteller. He is a contributing writer with the Chattanooga News Chronicle, The American Diversity Report, The Douglas County Sentinel, Blackmarket.com, co-founder of the “26 Tiny Paint Brushes” writers guild, recipient of the 2019 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Leadership Award, and third place winner of the 2022 Georgia Press Award.
How much time do kids spend on devices – playing games, watching videos, texting, and using the phone?
David Rosenberg
Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, Wayne State University
Natalia Szura
Research Assistant in Psychiatry, Wayne State University
Think about your favorite devices – your smartphone, laptop, tablet, computer or console – the things you use to play cool games, watch hilarious videos and connect and chat with friends.
Many young people spend a lot of free time looking at them. Turns out that teens spend an average of 8½ hours on screens per day, and tweens – that’s ages 8 to 12 – are not far behind, at 5½ hours daily.
Keep in mind those numbers are for only social media, gaming and texting. They do not include the time that kids used screens for schoolwork or homework.
What’s more, much of the time taken up by social media and texting is apparently not even enjoyable, much less productive. A 2017 study of teens ages 13 to 18 suggests they spend most of those hours on the phone in their bedroom, alone and distressed.
These lonely feelings correlate with the rise in the use of digital media. In 2022, 95% of teens had smartphones compared with only 23% in 2011. And 46% of today’s teens say they use the internet almost constantly, compared with 24% of teenagers who said the same in 2014 and 2015.
Our team of psychiatrists who treat young people with digital addiction have many patients who spend over 40 hours per week on screens – and some, up to 80 hours.
Think about it: If you spend “just” an average of 50 hours per week on devices from ages 13 to 18 – the total time you will spend on screens equates to more than 12 years of school!
Find the right balance
All this is not to say that everything about devices is bad. In this digital age, people embark on exciting journeys through the screens of their devices. Sometimes, screens are the windows to a magical adventure.
But too much screen time can lead to problems. As human beings, we function best when we’re in a state of balance. That happens when we eat well, exercise regularly and get enough sleep.
But spending too much time using digital devices can cause changes in the way you think and behave. Many teens and tweens developed the “fear of missing out” – known as FOMO. And one study shows some people develop nomophobia, which is the fear of being without your phone, or feeling anxious when you can’t use it.
Moreover, digital addiction in high school may predict serious depression, anxiety and sleep disruption in college.
Rates of depression and anxiety are skyrocketing among college students. The fear of missing out is pervasive, resulting in sleep disruption; too many college students sleep with smartphones turned on and near their bed – and wake up to respond to texts and notifications during the night. Sleep disruption itself is a core symptom of both depression and anxiety.
How to avoid device addiction
A 2016 poll indicated that half of teens felt they were addicted to their mobile devices.
Getting hooked on screens means missing out on healthy activities. To achieve a better balance, some experts recommend the following: Turn off all screens during family meals and outings. Don’t complain when your parents use parental controls. And turn off all the screens in your bedroom 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime – this step will improve sleep.
You may be a “screen addict” if you:
• Feel uneasy or grumpy when you can’t use your device.
• Don’t take breaks while spending hours on your device.
• Ignore other fun activities you enjoy, like going outside or reading a book.
• Have trouble sleeping, or falling asleep, because your screen time is too close to bedtime.
• Experience eye, lower back and neck strain.
• Struggle with weight gain or obesity because you’re inactive.
• Have difficulty with real-life, face-to-face social interactions.
If you notice these signs, do not dismiss them. But also realize you’re not alone and help is out there. You can find balance again.
Exercise – riding a bike, playing sports, lifting weights or going for a jog or walk – keeps your brain healthy and protects it against depression and anxiety, as well as limiting your screen time.
Another way to be happier and healthier is to spend time with people – face to face, not via a screen. Seeing people live and in person is the best way to bond with others, and it may be even better for life span than exercise.
Creative hobbies are good, too. Cooking, playing an instrument, dancing, any arts and crafts, and thousands of other fun things make people happier and more creative. What’s more, hobbies make you well rounded and more attractive to others – which leads to more face-to-face interactions.
It’s also critical for parents to practice healthy screen habits. But about one-third of adults say they use screens “constantly.” This is not exactly a great example for kids; when adults take responsibility to minimize their own screen time, the whole family gets better.
Our research team used magnetic resonance imaging, also known as MRI, to scan the brains of teens who had digital addiction. We found impairment in the brain’s decision-making, processing and reward centers. But after a digital fast – meaning the addicted teens unplugged for two weeks – those brain abnormalities reversed, and the damage was undone.
Our findings also showed that kids with a desire to overcome digital addiction did better with a digital fast than those who were less willing or who denied their addiction. A balanced lifestyle in the digital age is all about finding joy in screenless activities – being active, connecting with others and exploring your offline interests. (The CONVERSATION)